blog where i talk about people i love. finally.

i'm getting a little bit worried. just in general. nothing too big, nothing too angsty. small things though, are starting to pile up. i'll have to pay closer attention. i'm not being cryptic. i just don't want to make a big deal out of nothing. if something comes of it you'll be the first to know, and if not then no harm done.

i want to believe this again. i'm the  biggest hopeless romantic in the book, but nothing i've come across has done much to make me believe it recently. except michaela and david. thats cute.

 cold faith is hard to maintain, i'm doing my best. i want it so badly.

i love you all so much at the moment. i'm really emotional and rubbish at really talking seriously about how i feel. i throw 'i love you' around like nothing else, but i really do love you. i'm not sure when or why i realised how much i enjoy you in my life so much, but i'm glad i did. this would be so different without you :)

this could nearly be me! its not though...more's the pity i guess. i love clothes and makeup and jewellery so much at the moment, its making my year 12 suffer alot. i just need to get rich and then i'll get a new wardrobe.

you're the best. thats it. i don't know why it took me so long to realise and appreciate you, but i'm glad i did. so glad. you're a really good person even if you won't acknowledge it. so many of us can't be wrong. you're becoming an incredible person, and (as i said) if you act a bit arrogant or douchey sometimes, thats ok. you're worth the wait. i love knowing that i have you now, finally. it would be such a waste of my first friendship here if we'd let it go. you're my fave. lets stay friends now please. you're becoming that person that i talk about and describe as "if you were really good friends with your siblings", but actually you'd never want to be related because that would ruin the whole point. you're an amazing boy and i love you a lot and i hope you're happy.

we're twins. you get me. i wish we were closer, to be honest. i know, wtf at me! twins being closer? but its true, isn't it? maybe its just me. maybe i'm totally wrong and you're reading this in confusion. it's my paranoia. you're an incredibly beautiful person even if you don't see it, and thats why people are so drawn to you. you make us feel important and special and worth your time and thats the best thing you could do for me. we're more alike than you even realise i think, but thats a story for another time. i'm actually terrified of losing you next year, i'm not afraid of not coping, but i'm afraid of not getting you back. i think you'll realise how much better you are and then you'll realise you can have better friends and you don't want me or need me and i'll be a little bit lost. i'm not exaggerating when i say you're instrumental in my life. i wouldn't be coping with this year.

and you, all of you. this is a collective post because i don't have the time or the words to express how important you are to me. if you think this might be about you then it is. thankyou for putting up with me (sorry this is a bit angsty) and being my friends. i love you too.

skins!

Cook. oh Cook.

you're so attractive. i died a little inside when Chris died. oh haha my finger just slipped and i wrote Christ. So yeah. Hot.

very very very very very very pretty. she's like a deer or a mouse or something small and delicate looking.

nawwwwwwwwww! this picture pretty much is Skins to me.

YOU CAN'T FOOL US FREDDIE/LUKE.

ex oh ex oh

I just spent an amazing weekend in Torquay discussing surfing. I say discussing because we actually failed in entering the sea. Louisa and I lay in the spa until we were wrinkly like little prunes and gasping for cool air instead of actually breathing in some cool air. You know...like...in the sea...(I'm still undecided whether using my friend's names is an invasion of privacy or not, for now I'll go with not.)


Now I'm home and gosh I want to watch skins. I'm not about to plug it to you because you should already know. If you don't I may have to kill you. No no I wanted to talk about Luke Pasqualino. Which look...might be vaguely related to skins. But my main point is the boy is fine.

If you're really lost I'll explain. Luke plays Freddie in Season 3(and 4!!) of skins...the cool stoner skater adorable boy that Effy is vaguely interested in.
Well I'm very interested so if he gets sick of chasing her....

There's a really beautiful scene in one episode where they swim toward each other and...ok stop talking...enough...brain stop working...just look and appreciate

One day he'll realise what he's missing from his life and we'll be wed.


Yeah sure. Fairly sure after you get to kiss Kaya Scodelario there's no going back.


I'm jealous. Of them both.










Listening to: Hospital Beds - Florence and the Machine