i'm so overly proud of this

In the term 1 holidays, while you were all soaking up the last rays of summer and frantically doing holiday homework; I was still hard at work. On the Grand Prix Thursday, I snuck into Mac.Rob’s hallowed halls and began my investigation. One question plagued my mind; “is Mac.Rob really Hogwarts in the guise of a toilet block?”



Really, think about it. At the age of 14 you received a strange and wondrous letter in the post declaring “You have been accepted!”. Am I the only one getting a strong memory of a certain bespectacled boy getting a certain letter of acceptance from a certain wizarding school?


Let us first consider the very basis of Hogwarts politics; the house system. They have houses, Mac.Rob has houses. Our houses are named after mystical magical creatures. They have even gone so far as to be nicknamed Hogwarts Houses in a “joke”. All year the houses are at war to win the much coveted House Cup. Successful attempts in such events as “Chorals” and “Swimming” result in house points. Hello?


Our motto is Latin, the same as at Hogwarts. True, ours isn’t as insightful and meaningful as “never tickle a sleeping dragon”, but it has its charm.


We work hard all year at Biology/Herbology, studying Philosophy/Divination, attending Chemistry/Potions, undertaking P.E./an inferior form of Defence Against the Dark Arts(If all else fails...run...for 10 minutes...in circles), slaving away at History/Muggle Studies (its not as bad as Hogwarts History after all...) and at the end of the day we catch the Hogwarts Express back to Platform 9 and ¾ /the tram back to Flinders Street or South Yarra. (Quidditch has alas, been banned in the school grounds much to the distress of Mr Mannix in case the golfers next door realise our secret.)


Who hasn’t seen the house elves scurrying out of your way? Year 9s you say? What are they?!


Still don’t believe me? Look at the overpass between Kings Way and Lakeside! Large wooden overpass that Harry likes standing on looking brooding anyone?


And let’s just say Professor Umbridge is alive and well at “Hogwarts”.


Do you get it yet? We’re witches! We have untapped magical powers that we haven’t yet learned how to harness, but I hear at the end of Year 12 you get presented with a wand...or maybe that part was a dream. The point is; you know that Facebook group that says “my Hogwarts acceptance letter got lost in the post”? Not so. Your Hogwarts letter turned up alright; Dumbledore/Ms. Garvey just put a charm on it so your parents wouldn’t get worried and institutionalise you when you said you were going to be a witch.


True story. Dobby told me.

 
 
soon to appear in an Ethos near you.